I started at my new school last week Thursday and was planning on a similar day of inservice on Friday. I woke up Friday morning with more than just the dread of going back to school. Something was seriously wrong with my body and potentially my baby. (I am not going to go into great detail about it because some people feel the need to give their opinion on everything, and I am not looking for your medical opinion derived from my blog post.)
Thankfully, Anthony had not left for work yet, so he was able to be with me the whole day. We went right to the doctor, who met us about 1.5 before opening. She performed a sonogram to figure out if the baby was still alive. Honestly at this point, I had been preparing myself for the worst and had even imagined how to tell people that I had miscarried. Amazing, our baby was moving all around and had a strong heartbeat. What a relief!
She sent us off to get a more detailed sonogram. It was scheduled for later that afternoon. I rested most of the day. I wasn't able to watch the sonogram being performed, but Anthony said it was really neat to watch the technician zoom in on the heart and see it beating, measure the femur, and see its arms moving. We left. An hour or so later the doctor called and said that the radiologist could not find anything wrong with the sonogram or any indication of anything that could be causing my symptoms. At first I was really excited, but then I realized that just because they couldn't find anything doesn't mean that everything was ok. My symptoms were telling me otherwise.
I was an emotional wreck Friday night, but thankfully the Lord granted me sleep, and I was not up all night dwelling on what could be. My mom came up on Saturday and just sat with me. Sometimes you just need your momma. I had a friend come over and sit in bed with me, and I have numerous people praying for me and baby Houston. My new team at school, who didn't even know I was pregnant, before the incident have been amazing.
I am anxious about returning to school tomorrow. (Don't worry, I will be sitting in a chair all day for inservice.) Not knowing about something, especially the well-being and future of your baby, is a tough pill that I have to continue to swallow. Thankfully, God has a plan for my baby and me. Thankfully, He has surrounded me with believers who remind me that God is faithful.
I am looking for some verses of Scripture to put on notecards as I had back to work. I do not want this pregnancy to be about me. It needs to be about God and His glory, regardless of the outcome. It needs to be about how I am desperately trying to cling to Him in my most fearful moments.
Will you pray for me and my baby? Will you share some verses of comfort or song lyrics\ hymns that I can take with me this week?