I can't count how many articles I have read recently of things NOT to say to other people.
X number of things NOT say to a mom of one child
X number of things NOT say to a single mom
X number of things NOT say to a pregnant lady
X number of things NOT say to a mom who just gave birth
X number of things NOT say to a single girl
X number of things NOT say to a mom of all girls or all boys
X number of things NOT say to a mom who had a boy and then a girl and then a boy
Seriously, it seems that every female in every stage of life now has a list of things that shouldn't be said to them by other people. Maybe we should all just wear shirts that say, "Don't talk to me. I am a female. And more than likely I will be offended by what you have to say."
I recently read somewhere about how much more help a man would get flying with a baby than a female would. How unfair is that?!?! I have even thought I would hand off the babe to hubby for our upcoming plane trip. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the reason people are more likely to help my hubby with a baby than me is because he doesn't have a list. The flight attendant would have to ascertain in what stage of life I was in before looking up the list of things she isn't supposed to say to me. Gesh! It would just be easier not to say anything at all.
And unfortunately, that's where we are--people don't want to talk to other people for fear of offending them.
When really, those people that touch your belly, ask you if you are going to pop right there in the store, offer unsolicited advice, tell you to cherish those sleepless nights, offer your screaming child a lollipop, warn you of the dangers of whatever, when really, I think, they are just looking to connect with another human in some way.
Instead of getting frustrated that maybe whatever they did or said didn't sit well with whatever hormonal swing we are on that particular day, put yourselves in their shoes. More often than not, they are trying to connect with you. Don't shut down a connection just because your female feathers got ruffled.
As females, we have to be in control of our hormones, no matter how raging they may be. We can't expect everyone else we come in contact with to know our personal life stories and exactly where we are on our cycle to determine what is appropriate or not to say.
Who knows? That elderly clerk who made the comment about you looking like you are ready to burst may go home that night and tell her husband about the lovely pregnant woman she saw today and reminisce over her pregnancies long ago.
Maybe the old man who bought your tantrum throwing two year old a sucker was just trying to help a young momma out, not rot his teeth or undermine your authority.
Maybe that woman in the parking lot that told you how unsafely you loaded your kids up had lost one of hers because she made a similar mistake.
Maybe the man at the restaurant who rubbed your belly has a daughter who is pregnant who lives far away and he will never be able to touch her growing belly.
Sure being a mom is hard, being a female is rough, but can we get rid of this attitude that everyone else is out to get us and they purposely make rude comments to upset us???
Let's change our perspective.
xoxo,
Angela
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