Monday, November 29, 2010
Transitions are difficult. I think, for me, it is the fear of the unknown. Why change when right now is so wonderful? I think that is why I approach my wedding day different than most giddy, over-the-top excited girls. I have been dating Anthony for almost four years, and it has been wonderful! He loves taking care of me and showing me how much he loves me. And I LOVE being the recipient of his affection. He knows when I need space and is very supportive of my time that I spend with my girlfriends because he knows I need it desperately! He has spoiled me rotten. For years he has been telling me that he does this because he likes to see me happy. I think, finally, I am starting to believe him.
My old youth pastor once said that the only reason the first year of marriage is hard is if one or both of the people are being selfish. As I think about our wedding day, it really is just the start of a commitment that is to be lived out daily. And that is where I am going to have to start working on myself. It is never fun to really delve deep inside yourself and really figure out what your true motivations are. It's not fun because usually our motivations are selfish. In order for Anthony to fulfill his God-given role in marriage as the leader, I need to be pursuing my role as a submissive, respectful wife. Men crave respect. Women need love. That's why God commanded men to love their wives. He didn't command women to love their husbands because He knew it would come naturally to the woman if the man was loving her. However, God did command wives to submit to their husbands. Because if the husband is feeling respected, he will in turn love his wife. It is an endless cycle for good or for bad depending on how the "players" choose to "play." If the wife does not respect the husband, he will not show her love, if the wife is not loved, she will not show her husband respect. MMMMMM.....Isn't it great that God created us each with specific desires and roles, and that they fit so perfectly together if we just obey??
Anyway, back to transitions, me and Anthony's relationship will be changing greatly. And a lot of the change needs to happen internally before it can happen externally. So, as I approach marriage, I am humbled by the great responsibility I will soon have as a wife. Selfishly, it would be easier to stay dating because than I wouldn't have to do a self-analysis. However, I love Anthony very much, and he deserves all the respect I can show and give him. But more importantly, I love God. More than anything I would love for our marriage to be a picture of Christ redeeming His church, the bride. A picture that points others to Christ. I just want to be a tool that brings shows others the love of Christ.
PS We are starting a new book called Love and Respect. That is where I stole the love and respect stuff, but good stuff, right? More to come with that latter...