When is it ever appropriate to tell a female that she has put on weight? After she gets married? When she is pregnant? When she has been working a really stressful job?
When is it ever socially acceptable to go pat a female's belly and say things like:
"Taking a break from the gym, eh?"
"Your husband cooking too many sweets."
"You really like your food, huh?"
Really how are you supposed to respond to that??
Fortunately, males have mostly caught on and kept their mouth shut in that department in regard to females. However, when have we created a double standard for this for males? Because I did not get the memo that it was socially acceptable.
Sure, you are his relative. That doesn't give you leeway to make a rude comment and mask it as a joke. Like seriously how are we supposed to respond? Haha so funny. I have never heard that before. I love when you make fun of my weight!
I don't care who you are, male or female, words hurt. Rude comments have a way of sticking with you. If I don't remember anything about that family reunion, dinner, excursion at the mall, I will always remember how you insulted me or\and my husband.
I know it can be a little awkward. You want to talk to us, but you don't know what to say, so you make a joke about weight. Might I suggest some of the following superficial appearance-based comments instead:
"Wow, your hair is amazing!" Because, well, what can I say, our children have great potential to be hair models.
"I love the color of your shirt. It really makes your eye color pop!"
"Your smile just lights up the room."
Or if all else fails, remember what your mother told you, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything."
We don't need you to compliment the way we look (it is super sweet when you do); we are fine with the way we are. And seriously, do we really need to perpetuate the idea that appearance makes us who we are?
I think not.
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