The day my pregnancy got scary

I started at my new school last week Thursday and was planning on a similar day of inservice on Friday.  I woke up Friday morning with more than just the dread of going back to school.  Something was seriously wrong with my body and potentially my baby.  (I am not going to go into great detail about it because some people feel the need to give their opinion on everything, and I am not looking for your medical opinion derived from my blog post.)

Thankfully, Anthony had not left for work yet, so he was able to be with me the whole day.  We went right to the doctor, who met us about 1.5 before opening.  She performed a sonogram to figure out if the baby was still alive.  Honestly at this point, I had been preparing myself for the worst and had even imagined how to tell people that I had miscarried.  Amazing, our baby was moving all around and had a strong heartbeat.  What a relief!

She sent us off to get a more detailed sonogram.  It was scheduled for later that afternoon.  I rested most of the day.  I wasn't able to watch the sonogram being performed, but Anthony said it was really neat to watch the technician zoom in on the heart and see it beating, measure the femur, and see its arms moving.  We left.  An hour or so later the doctor called and said that the radiologist could not find anything wrong with the sonogram or any indication of anything that could be causing my symptoms.  At first I was really excited, but then I realized that just because they couldn't find anything doesn't mean that everything was ok.  My symptoms were telling me otherwise.

I was an emotional wreck Friday night, but thankfully the Lord granted me sleep, and I was not up all night dwelling on what could be.  My mom came up on Saturday and just sat with me.  Sometimes you just need your momma.  I had a friend come over and sit in bed with me, and I have numerous people praying for me and baby Houston.  My new team at school, who didn't even know I was pregnant, before the incident have been amazing.

I am anxious about returning to school tomorrow.  (Don't worry, I will be sitting in a chair all day for inservice.)  Not knowing about something, especially the well-being and future of your baby, is a tough pill that I have to continue to swallow.  Thankfully, God has a plan for my baby and me.  Thankfully, He has surrounded me with believers who remind me that God is faithful.

I am looking for some verses of Scripture to put on notecards as I had back to work.  I do not want this pregnancy to be about me.  It needs to be about God and His glory, regardless of the outcome.  It needs to be about how I am desperately trying to cling to Him in my most fearful moments.

Will you pray for me and my baby?  Will you share some verses of comfort or song lyrics\ hymns that I can take with me this week?

The time I almost got attacked by a shark

Sometimes people can be so insensitive.  Seriously.  I don't usually talk about my specific fear even with people that I am really close to because they make light of it.  It is something that started toward the end of high school and has gotten worse ever since.  I get responses such as, "If everyone else can go through it, so can you." or they then go into graphic detail about my fear.  I mean honestly, if I am going to share something with you, don't go and make fun of me about it.  I know it is irrational, but if realizing that it was irrational was the key to solving this fear, I would be over it by now.

I bring this topic up because I wish to not only implore you to extend tact to those who let you in on their fear, but also to remind you, that even when your friends make fun of you, the Lord is the one you should be going these concerns to.

I have consciously been trying to take my specific fear to the Lord for over a year now.  The Lord has been so faithful and good!  My Bible Study Fellowship leader has told us to find a verse and to cling to that verse when we feel like the fear is surrounding us.  I wanted to share it with you.  Most of us usually have fear, and Satan is so good about making me fall into that pit.

"Do not fear for I am with you;
Do not look anxiously about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10

What is your fear?  Have you been taking it captive to the Lord?  What verse do you cling to in times of weakness?

xoxo,




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